Rereading My Childhood – A Year With the BSC #23: Grades

A Year With the BSC is an informal series wherein I explore the 1990’s CD-ROM video game The Baby-sitters Club Friendship Kit. The game is more of a personal organizer; it features with a calendar, an address book, a stationary kit, a flyer maker, and a personality profile. I’m focusing on the more interesting aspect of the game: the personalized letters and the journal entries. The full list of entries can be found at rereadingmychildhood.com.

With Thanksgiving gone, let’s check in on what the BSC did.

092.JPG

Okay, how the hell did a toddler sit on a pie and everyone just let him? You’re not telling us the whole story here, Jessi. I wonder if the story makes them look bad. You know. A whole house filled with baby-sitters allowing a baby to do something he’s not supposed to. Maybe it makes them look like they’re, at best, inattentive, or, at worst, negligent. You’re hiding something, Jessi, and Bob Woodward and I are going to find out what it is.

093

We had our first snowfall in Reno and I wanted to go to southern California. I’m with you, Dawn.

094.JPG

Claudia needs to stop comparing herself to her sister. And maybe she should spend less time on art. Now hear me out, stop throwing things. You can’t get into a good art school if you can’t get past middle school. I don’t want to grade shame you, but it does seem like a fixable problem. You at least got a 60 if you got a D, so there is some room to improve. Just saying. And if you don’t stop throwing paint on me, you won’t have enough to paint a life-size replica of the BSC, or whatever you do. I’m not a painter, I don’t know what to do with paint.

095.JPG

Cool story, Kristy, but I think they would stop him from “coming up and swinging” if he didn’t have many home runs. The moral of the story should be that you should make up for your shortcoming by being better in something else. Claudia doesn’t have that problem. Her problem is that she keeps comparing herself to her sister and criticizing Janine when all Janine wants to do is help her. (See: Claudia and Mean Janine. I’ll get around to writing it someday.)

Rereading My Childhood – A Year With the BSC #18: A Spooky Idea

A Year With the BSC is an informal series wherein I explore the 1990’s CD-ROM video game The Baby-sitters Club Friendship Kit. The game is more of a personal organizer; it features with a calendar, an address book, a stationary kit, a flyer maker, and a personality profile. I’m focusing on the more interesting aspect of the game: the personalized letters and the journal entries. The full list of entries can be found at rereadingmychildhood.com.

Oh, it’s an exciting one this week! It started with a letter from Kristy.

073.JPG

Anchovies are fine, and Chinese food is great. Cool letter, Kristy. Thanks for writing.

Now let’s get to Stacey’s idea. What is is going to be, Stace?

074.JPG

A . . . Halloween . . . Comedy . . . Club? Seriously? Who the fuck is going to book this? You guys going to have a two-drink minimum? If Jackie Radowsky starts heckling Mallory, is Kristy going to come in and throw him out?

075.JPG

Excuse me? You guys are the ones who came up with this idea, why are you making me do all the work? I think all the kids should just Trick-or-Treat and then get stomach aches and nightmares from too much sugar. This is your mess, don’t drag me into it.

076.JPG

Why, my favorite comedy stars are the members of the BSC! White boy comedians who have never told jokes in front of an audience will be there! This Comedy Club is shaping up to be a Halloween Treat! Can I stop making decorations now? Also, why isn’t she the Master of Scare-imonies? I have to carve pumpkins now? I shouldn’t have said anything.

077.JPG

Guys? Excuse me? By “guys” do you mean me and my good friends construction paper and scissors, because I didn’t see any of you chuckle-fucks cutting anything between your jokes.

078.JPG

Meanwhile, I’ve had to turn away twenty-one comedians who keep asking if they can get a tight five at that Halloween Barn Show while y’all are chatting it up with daycare directors. Yes, what do you need? No, a guy who calls himself Davie Entendre will certainly not get a spot.

079.JPG

Great jokes. Hey, Abby, I’m having trouble finding a giant inflatable ghost for, how much did you want to pay? Yes, um, I can’t find a giant inflatable ghost for twenty dollars. The cheapest? Yeah, something of that size is going to run us close to $200. No, I can’t make one. Oh, hold on, I have five more e-mails asking if it’s a paying show.

080.JPG

Can Mrs. Hobart make a likeness of Frankenstein out of pipe cleaners and glue? Then she’s of no use to me.

Rereading My Childhood – A Year With the BSC #17: Haunted House Explanation With My Dad

A Year With the BSC is an informal series wherein I explore the 1990’s CD-ROM video game The Baby-sitters Club Friendship Kit. The game is more of a personal organizer; it features with a calendar, an address book, a stationary kit, a flyer maker, and a personality profile. I’m focusing on the more interesting aspect of the game: the personalized letters and the journal entries. The full list of entries can be found at rereadingmychildhood.com.

I don’t normally post the “front page” of the BSC Friendship Kit, but Kristy’s advice seemed . . . strange.

068.JPG

“Inside and out?” I must be unfamiliar with these magnifying glasses that enable you to see the “inside” of things, like the aforementioned bugs. Maybe Kristy shouldn’t let her babysitting charges look inside bugs, just a thought.

We have the results of Mary Anne and Hannie’s costume conundrum.

069

My mother is a gifted crafter and she made most of my costumes. However, the last year I trick-or-treated (I was twelve), I put on black pants, a black sweater, and I painted my face white with a trickle of red down the side of my mouth. When people asked if I was a vampire, which would be a perfectly reasonable thing to think I was, I insisted I was a “bloodsucker.” I think its a vampire without getting the teeth or the dope outfits. I was just a crazy person who bit people, really.

070.JPG

Why couldn’t the BSC have a haunted house? You could make it kid-friendly. My elementary school once had a kid-friendly haunted house. It was fine but my dad went in with me and spent the whole time explaining the gags. “You see, there are two people in that couch. One is poking out the top and he screams while another person sticks his legs out and moves them around.” Dad, I did not know that but could you do this after we leave the haunted house and not in front of the actors? We’re holding up the line.

071.JPG

Got that right, Jessi.

072.JPG

You heard her, guys. For some reason, she can’t just tell us. We have to wait until next time. What will her idea be? A haunted baby-sitting session? A baby-sitting session inside a haunted house they have no affiliation with? A boycott of the SMS Haunted House on the grounds it promotes Satanism? Find out next time, on A Year With the BSC!

Rereading My Childhood: A Year With the BSC #15: Let Women Live, Dammit!

It’s been a few weeks. The computer I use to run the software was out of commission. Is the BSC the same? Do they still have their funny ways? Is Mary Anne still a crybaby? Or has she grown up a little? What about Kristy? How is our favorite president? And Claudia! Has she grown a little? Decided to buckle down and study? Has she worked on her spelling?

057.JPG

Of course she hasn’t. And Abby is there to don her “Abbysplaining” cap.

058

That’s not helpful, Abby. You just look like a jerk.

Meanwhile, Jessi has some legitimate concerns about the test.

059.JPG

Not really, since I’m past the standardized testing phase of my life. I did worry about passing my math class a few semesters ago. If you didn’t get at least a C on the final, you couldn’t pass, even if you had 100% in the class up until that point. My school is serious about math, I guess.

Kristy also did a thing.

060.JPG

Oh, Kristy, you did what every woman has done: laughed at a dumb boy’s joke so you don’t make him feel bad. Welcome to womanhood, where if you don’t laugh at a man’s joke, he’ll take it as an attack. This wasn’t a good few weeks for women. (Remember to vote!)

The BSC has a new problem! This time, it’s Suzi Barrett.

061.JPG

You know what? You shouldn’t do anything. Let the girl live, dammit. She’s only got a few more years of blissful ignorance, let her wallow in it. And while I’m at it, would everyone just let woman live? Like, in general? Just let us hang out with our friends and drink in peace. Stop it with the death threats. And the assaulting. Especially the assaulting. Just let women live, dammit.

062.JPG

Yeah, but we all have to grow up someday. Whether it’s when you buy your first bra or the first gross dude shouts at you on the street, we all have to grow up.

Until then, let Suzi wear her Halloween costume. Hannie Papadakis can say she’s too grown up for Halloween, and that’s okay. Let her pretend to be too grown up for the best holiday of the year. (It’s true, don’t @ me.) Let the BSC worry about standardized testing. I do think Claudia should improve her spelling, though. That just seems useful. It’s very useful when you want to read a voting ballot.

Rereading My Childhood – A Year With the BSC #9: Kristy’s Birthday

A Year With the BSC is an informal series wherein I explore the 1990’s CD-ROM video game The Baby-sitters Club Friendship Kit. The game is more of a personal organizer; it features with a calendar, an address book, a stationary kit, a flyer maker, and a personality profile. I’m focusing on the more interesting aspect of the game: the personalized letters and the journal entries. The full list of entries can be found at rereadingmychildhood.com.

Oh, boy, was it a busy week for the BSC! It started with Jessi congratulating Claudia on her problem-solving skills.

039.JPG

I still think Claudia’s handling is going to produce dubious results. Maybe Sean just told her that the tuba painting worked so the other babysitters would stop trying (and failing) to solve his problem. Also, he was worried that Claudia might splatter paint on the rest of his property if he didn’t say she solved his problem.

Jessi continued in the journal by gossiping about Abby and Stacey.

040

While that sounds nice and all, that’s not your story to tell, Jessi. And how the fuck do these 13-year-olds keep picking up dudes wherever they go? And how old are these bodysurfing boys? I have half a mind to call your parents and tell them about your nightly activities.

Meanwhile, it’s Kristy’s birthday soon and she’s excited about her softball camp.

041.JPG

How could Watson get “a real major league player to stop by” exactly? Is he an agent? Big baseball agency in Stoneybrook, huh? Does he really want a baseball player who is half steroids to visit his young stepdaughter and her friends?

Then Mary Anne says something still relatable.

042.JPG

Brad Pitt, Keanu Reeves, and Sandra Bullock are still relevant actors, even twenty years later.

I know what I would say to a celebrity if I met them. Nothing. I would say nothing. Because that’s what I said when I met Paula Poundstone after a show she did in Carson City. My sister asked her for an autograph and I just stood there with a big dumb grin on my face and said nothing.

We wrap up this week with Kristy’s birthday.

043.JPG

I can believe that Claudia made a great cake.

Also, on a side note, these things are moving to Wednesday. Some stuff happened at school (*cough*class canceled on Wednesday*cough*I had to sign up for a different class*cough*) and now Tuesday is the most convenient day to write these. Sorry again.

Rereading My Childhood – A Year With the BSC #8: A Simple Fix

A Year With the BSC is an informal series wherein I explore the 1990’s CD-ROM video game The Baby-sitters Club Friendship Kit. The game is more of a personal organizer; it features with a calendar, an address book, a stationary kit, a flyer maker, and a personality profile. I’m focusing on the more interesting aspect of the game: the personalized letters and the journal entries. The full list of entries can be found at rereadingmychildhood.com.

I got a letter from Jessi this week!

036.JPG

The form asked what my nickname was and I assumed it was for logging in purposes. I don’t really have a nickname. My mother calls me “Kido” and my Filipino nieces and nephews call me “Tita Kido.” Literally everyone else in the world calls me “Amy.” Maybe Jessi is being sarcastic. “That’s a good one in that it’s not a nickname at all.” Jessi isn’t normally sarcastic, but maybe she wants to haze the newest member of the BSC.

Meanwhile, Claudia solved Shawn Addison’s tuba issue (tubissue).

037

Really? That’s it? You just had to paint some stuff on his tuba? What about his parents? Like, musical instruments are expensive. I don’t know if they’d appreciate their very expensive investment becoming the art project of a preteen.

Maybe I’m the wrong one because it’s a hit with Jessi.

038.JPG

By the way, A Year With the BSC is moving to Thursdays so I can write these on Wednesdays. Thanks!